Confessions

Can you tell me about yourself, your studies and your profession?

- My name is Michel LINCETTO. I’m 25 years old. And I’m studying in IUFM in first year of English CAPES Exam. I am in a relation during 4 since 4 years.

At which age did you discover that your sexual orientation was different than the one of the other men? Explain a bit how it happened and the circumstances.

- Well, I have discovered that my sexuality was different at a young age. I think since primary school. I remember that when I saw nudity in films with men I felt so strange inside me. Or at the swimming pool when the swimming teacher was nude waist, for me it was a “moment or religion”. I was about 8. I didn’t perceive a sexual act with woman but with a man, yes. I never had boy friend. I hated men because they was an ambiguity. In fact my relations were better with girls.

How did you accept this “difference”?

- When I started the faculty in 2000, I did what I wanted: English. I had my first sexual relation with a man. I said to myself: “Wouah”. I had a choc. Even if I wanted it I felt bad after. I stopped my studies and it was necessary to think. I wanted work. You know, it is strange the way that we use the words; it was not a work as we imagine like a job but a work about me. From 2001 and during 3 years there was an unconscious change.

At home I didn’t feel listened. I said to my mother that I would always be different. I left some clues but no one saw them.

During a job I met a man, Alexandre, I saw him, I really had a choc. I felt the things more and more stronger. I never felt this in that way. I saw him later but he was in a relationship with another man. I think that is the first man I loved and my first love deception.

I talked about everything to a work colleague as if it was the biggest mistake in the world. She understands me. It surprised me.

In june 2004 I went out with a man. It was my first sexual relation at 21 years old. It was good. I started to say it to everybody. This story ended. And in November 2004 I met Philippe, the man who still is my actual boyfriend.

Before being homosexual did you have any relations with girls?

- No, I never had any relations with girls. I already kissed a girl. In fact I have to say that the woman’s sex disgust me.

There is a debate concerning homosexuality. Have you heard about it? Is it innate or acquired? What is your opinion?

- For me it is innate. It is a sexual identity that you can’t change or hide. My boyfriend thinks like me. The religion created the norm of the heterosexuality. Then the society took the those values

How did your relatives live this “change”? Did you parents accept it? What about your friends and at work?

- Concerning my mother it was very difficult for her. She cried a lot. She needed 6 months to get better. My father busted into tears. I didn’t see him during one and half year. My brother and my sister accepted or more easily. My sister said to me: “the importance for you is to be happy”. The rest of the family accepted it too like my friends. Everybody suspected it.

At work it went well. My bosses of that period supported le. They were open about it. They were great in human speaking.

A friend of mine helped me to get through this “difficult” time. She made me discovered the gay world. I felt free. It is strange after, after that I had the feeling I had been in jail during 21 years.

You know, sometime say to people that you are gay breaks the ice. But today I don’t say it often, even if I assume it.

Do you see your future life with a child? Would you like to have one with your actual partner?

- Today no. In fact it depends. If I had been a woman I know that I would have one at 19 years old.

When you are a homosexual it is difficult because there are a lot of problems. To some people it is close to pedophilia.

When I have a stable job I will consider being a father.

What do you think about adoption and marriage?

- I am against adoption because when you adopt a child you don’t “producte” life. I prefer the surrogate mothers.

By adopting a child I would have the impression that I would have a stranger with me.

Concerning marriage, I am neutral

And if is it legal?

- Well, I think that no need to marry to show love. If it is legal, I don’t know if people mentally will evolute. It certainly would scare the heterosexuals. But I have good news: in one month we will be “pacsed *”.

PACS: The civil alliance of solidarity is a contract It is concluded between two natural persons to organize their common life. These two persons must be major of different sex or the same sex.

JLG